User talk:Jemini

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So, since I have opened this up to be a place to make requests to my stories, I am going to implement a system of placing all conversations with a specific person under the same heading with their name. I will request that you put up your material under your own heading witch can be done by placing two equals signs "==" to either side of your name witch you username after writing that in. If you forget to do so, it is Ok, I ought to be able to correct that myself. However, it will be helpful if you can either sign your name to your comments or put the heading in yourself.

Update to the policy on making requests

There is no actual rule restricting the number of requests you can make at any one time, but the priority with witch I will get to filling requests is the inverse of the number of requests being made by the same person. In other words, if you make less requests I will get to you sooner. I will recommend 3 as the go-to default, with 2, 3, and 4 being treated essentially the same if it is a one-odd thing, but it will affect the priority if you make a habit of always requesting 2 or 4 every round. If you make only 1 request, I will probably move you to the front of the line. If you make 5 or more, you will probably be back-burnered until I feel like processing you sometime a fair bit later.

Also, multiple people requesting the same option is another thing that raises priority.

Stories I will accept requests for

I am currently accepting requests for Hot Summer Job, witch was started by Villenia. It should be noted that Villenia is still the primary on this story, and I may very well reject requests for this story if I do not feel I can complete it to Villenia's standards.

I am also accepting requests for God's Compensation. This is a story I started myself. It is currently a closed story until it reaches the conclusion of the introductory portion of the story is reached. Despite being a chose-your-own-adventure format, this story has a semi chapter format where each chapter has different rules for contributing. The rules for the introductory chapter is that I am the only one allowed to write for it. (NOTE: I am currently placing requests for this story on a back-burner until I write up a lore section for the story. The lore section will be the primary focus with story requests being a lower priority.)

2T4U is the first story I started seriously writing for on this site, but I have suffered from a little bit of burn-out on that story. I have now recovered somewhat and will accept requests for it again, but they will be placed at a lower priority than requests for other stories.

I just recently opened up a new story I will accept requests for, Universal Acceptance. However, I will only accept requests for Jerry, the 12 year old male character.

I am currently obsessed with writing for Elerneron's new story Life Hacks. I will probably wind up spending too much energy writing for that story to get to any other requests, but might look back here if I get burned out. If you would like to make a request in life hacks, please follow Elerneron's request policy witch includes making the request on the page with the option you want. Requests for Life Hacks on this page will be ignored.

Elerneron

To make a category page into a subcategory, instead of giving it the story type as the category [[Category:Meta Stories]] use the category that you want it to be a subcategory of [[Category:God's Compensation]] --Elerneron (talk) 06:53, 10 April 2016 (CEST)


Okay, if you want to make a page part of more than one category just type in more than one category on that page. For instance if a page is in the story God's Compensation but also part of chapter one you would put something like this when you put the category on the page [[Category:God's Compensation]][[Category:God's Compensation/Chapter One]]. Now when you go to that page it will show two categories. Now for the category page for God's Compensation you have:


You can always check out how I made the subcategories for Generations Here is the Category Page Category:Generations If you go into one of the subcategories, you can see how I made them into subcategories. --Elerneron (talk) 10:56, 10 April 2016 (CEST)

You did it in the exact opposite way from how you need to do it. You need to put the name of the Main Category as the Category of the Sub-Category. I fixed the category pages, so you can see how I did it. --Elerneron (talk) 00:04, 13 April 2016 (CEST)

There is a page in the format rules telling you how to upload and use image files Format Rules/Pictures. --Elerneron (talk) 15:02, 18 April 2016 (CEST)

I fixed the problem you had with your template display. You had just closed the template after P1, so it didn't include P2. I just move the closing brackets to after the P2 entry. It's usually little things like that which trip one up . . . happens to me all the time. Putting the closing brackets on their own line will probably help, so I did that. --Elerneron (talk) 11:42, 15 September 2016 (CEST)

I added a link to your Guide on the Main Page under Writer's tools (it used to just contain my average measurements chart). You can remove the link in Meta Stories if you wish; or you can leave it, as Meta-stories is a catch all. There is always the as yet unused Non-Adult Stories as a possible location. I'm good with any of these. You do need to add a category to the page though. --Elerneron (talk) 22:14, 28 October 2016 (CEST)


I can't find an error on any of the Life Hacks Templates. Only the Charge template (Used for Cora's Charge) uses any actual conditional statements, all the others directly convert the data input into the display. Which Template is having issues for you? --Elerneron (talk) 11:51, 2 February 2017 (CET)

There were a couple of issues on the page. The first was that you used a colon instead of an equal sign. It needs to use an equal sign to assign the value to the property. The second was that the value names were capitalized. The system is case sensitive, so health and Health are treated as two different properties. It is set to a value of 100% by default, so by not assigning a value (due to the aforementioned errors) it displayed 100%. I fixed the ones on the page you linked to. Things like this are one of the reasons I just copy the page before and edit the values myself. --Elerneron (talk) 21:47, 2 February 2017 (CET)


A thought just occurred to me. With the abilities that Rose just gave Xander, it is entirely possible that he could affect the server he is on to do more than change things in the game. He could actually affect anything tied to that server, thereby affecting Loki's universe. He could boot every player, mod, and admin out of the server; then employ building security to protect the server itself, declaring his universe independent from the originating universe.

I've actually thought what might happen if something happened to the server, and see one of two possibilities: 1) The universe only exists because of the simulation, in which case his universe is destroyed, or 2) The simulation created the universe, but it will continue to exist even if the server is destroyed because it has already been created (insert quantum mechanical magical explanation). If the second possibility is the accurate one, the destruction of the server would promote the virtual reality into an actual reality. Food for thought. --Elerneron (talk) 23:02, 22 February 2017 (CET)


Submission and Dominance aren't designed to overlap. The ones that are designed to overlap are translucent so they lower one shows through the upper one to some degree. I didn't see D/S working at all with overlapping, so I didn't set them up that way. I can fix it if you need it. --Elerneron (talk) 13:17, 25 February 2017 (CET)


Okay, I made all of them do an overlap. Not that friend/enemy or dom/sub make any sense. --Elerneron (talk) 13:25, 25 February 2017 (CET)

TerryAce

Time to advance more plots.

https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Stop_and_find_some_excuse_to_remove_your_cloths (pounce back on her and continuing wrestling)

https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Come_to_Larissa%27s_rescue_and_gang_up_on_Kylie (have your own bit of fun with Kylie)

Suspended:Not planning to work on these any time in the near future

COMPLETED

https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Point_out_that_she%27s_not_naked (grab her and toss her on the bed) Hot Summer Job request: https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Check_on_Larissa_in_the_living_room (Go see what Kylie the Nudist is doing) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Slip_your_finger_inside_your_sister (Be bold (Ask if she likes that) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Remain_seated_and_keep_staring (it would be a shame to waste such an amazing erection) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Bust_a_nut_on_these_girls (offer Rissa an orgasm) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Offer_Rissa_an_orgasm (fuck her properly as soon as you get hard again) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Get_yourself_into_a_more_comfortable_position_so_you_can_enjoy_this (Bree’s been literally begging for it, go give her what she wants) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Go_see_what_Kylie_is_doing (Hold her up: apologize to her) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Do_something_with_this_erection (wait here for a bit,who cares if the girls catch you now) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Grab_her_from_behind_and_toss_her_on_her_bed (stop and find some reason to remove your clothes) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Take_a_moment_to_adjust_yourself (take Bree's dress all the way off) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Let_Larissa_have_her_fun_with_Kylie (slide down between Kylie's legs and give her a tasre of her own medicine) https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Tell_Bree_to_go_have_Kiley_help_her (This is all Kiley’s fault, throw her over the table and nail her hard)


Additional completed requests

Notsooldpervert

--Notsooldpervert (talk) 21:29, 24 August 2016 (CEST)

FYI I list my requests first by the date I've requested them, then in order of my preference of story lines. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 00:13, 19 July 2016 (CEST)

Oops! Lol, I'll go back to the first page and start making choices from there in the options. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 05:41, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

You guessed it, I'm aiming for parent child. Probably with her knowing nothing, setting up "the talk" kinda scenario. Might adjust some other settings like near future timeline or something. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 22:49, 12 June 2017 (UTC)

Interesting: a virgin adult parent. Donated sperm in college, death of the mother they tracked him down and now he has a daughter he never expected lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 01:41, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

They would if there were no other family. They go to pretty great lengths to not have to pay for the raising of the kid. If there's a genetic link willing to take the kid, it's less paperwork, and less stress on an already overburdened system. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 02:32, 13 June 2017 (UTC)

I'll stick with the sharing a room. Combined with emotional dependence, clothing optional lifestyle, and encouragement to explore and enjoy her bidy should make for some VERY interesting scenes, especially if virgin dad is trying his damnedest not to guve in to lust lol--Notsooldpervert (talk) 03:13, 16 June 2017 (UTC)

I had a thought. How much trouble would it be to alter the time setting and/or the sexual standards? I'm thinking near future, and on the cusp of a VERY permissive society: nudity is encouraged and dressing erotically is becoming common even among kids. While sex in front of minors is still discouraged, things are relaxed enough that full nudity is common on daytime tv (even kids shows), prime time tv would have the softcore porn (like cable tv now), cable tv would show hardcore, and hardcore would show things that are illegal now (bestiality and whatnot). Wile you would get hassled (and shunned by ultra conservatives) no one would send you to jail for sex with minors. What do you think? Too easy for the sex to get started? --Notsooldpervert (talk) 00:24, 24 June 2017 (UTC)

Actually that sounds pretty good. The relaxed social standards helps explain the mom's behavior, and is a foot in the door for the girl to get "me" to relax, go naked, and she gets to see her first live penis lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 00:43, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

In regards to posting pictures... sounds like a pain in the ass lol but thanks. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 22:47, 14 September 2017 (CEST)

Life Hacks Discussion I'll keep making requests the way Elerneron prefers and using the discussion pages for suggestions/claeifications.

Which request got deleted? I've made a few already lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 21:08, 16 October 2016 (CEST) Edit: Nevermind, I found it. No worries on waiting for the "no panties" to catch up first. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 21:17, 16 October 2016 (CEST)

Lol it's like watching you develop an RPG! --Notsooldpervert (talk) 20:15, 19 October 2016 (CEST)

I like where you're going with Ronnie's backstory. I suggest that Brittany be the one to tattle to mom. It makes more sense than absentee mom doing it, and leaves it open for Xander to play (which wouldn't make sense if he ratted them out). If Angel comes across as younger, is that a choice on her part or a developmental issue? If it's just the way she is, wouldn't her stats be more in line with Bastion's? --Notsooldpervert (talk) 16:59, 20 October 2016 (CEST)

I can see how Ronnie would be hard to approach sexually with her being a tomboy and all, but her brother has an "in" so he could slip right in there (pun intended).

Saving Xander's "first time" bonus is the right call. He should get that the first time vaginal sex brings him to orgasm. Hmmm... I'll have to check now, does he have enough points for infinite deathless egg-seeking sperm yet? Where's that pool full of lolies? Lol --Notsooldpervert (talk) 15:50, 24 October 2016 (CEST)

I know of an auxillary branch of the main library in a large city, surrounded by residential neighborhood. It was shut down and sits abbandoned. It's in an older area that's rather run down, but it fits the premise. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 22:55, 28 October 2016 (CEST)

Yup, changed my request --Notsooldpervert (talk) 16:50, 29 November 2016 (CET)


2T4U Requests New story line!

HSJ Requests If you want me to do this differently, let me know.

God's Compensation Interesting premise.

Universal Acceptance That would be a fun power!

Suspended:Not planning to work on these any time in the near future

COMPLETED 2T4U

HSJ

God's Compensation

Universal Acceptance



Additional completed requests

BakaG

BakaG's Talk Page

How's it going? I just added a page to 2T4U. Please tell me what you think of it. Especially whether it fits the characters properly.

https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=2T4U/Tell_him_why_he_can%27t_pee

10/15 - Thanks for looking it over. I plan to add a few more pages to one of the "find some clothes" path in the next few days, inspiration willing.

Also, yeah. I did get a bit ahead of myself there. I was in a groove and couldn't stop. Thanks also for dividing the page up. Lots of interesting options just waiting to be filled out now. :P

10/23 - This was both easier and harder than the last one. Enjoy my latest addition! I was going to do more but I figured that was a fine place to stop for a choice.

https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=2T4U/Jack/Aaron_Sissy/Attic

1/5/16 - Sorry for acting more like an editor than a writer. I keep asking my muse for inspiration but every time she throws a keyboard at me, yells "PTFO YOU FUCKING NOOB!", then slams the door in my face. :P

1/22/16 - And it's done. Went in a slightly different direction than I planned but I'm satisfied with it for now. Hopefully the next part won't take as long.

5/30/16 - Even as another project has distracted me, I find myself bored with Aaron/Anna. Perhaps another character would be more interesting. Perhaps Jack's girlfriend, and how Jack stumbled into their incestuous carpet munching, or perhaps a teammate of Jack's who has a younger brother he can sissy up. Any suggestions?

Fallen-King

Thank you for filling out my requests so far and thanks in advance for any more you do.

Suspended:Not planning to work on these any time in the near future

COMPLETED


Additional completed requests

Doggod

2T4U

HSJ

Suspended:Not planning to work on these any time in the near future

COMPLETED


Additional completed requests

SA

I do have my heart set on making something happen between Missy and Bandit but I am not that good of a writer. Also sorry if this isn't how Im meant to use the talk feature I've never used a system like it before so yeah.

26/11/15: Ok i will get round to that at some point. Sorry for any inconvenience

19/12/15: Sorry it took me so long. Life hit hard but I changed it a bit. I hope the changes are ok. I just wanted to get bandit involved with the action and I SHOULD have made it so he can get involved with any of the other characters.

22/12/15: I suck at writing so sorry for that. Any advice on changes for the better and how I could write future chapters without fucking up?

I'll agree with that. I eventually want to see all the girls become cum hungry sluts eagerly spreading their legs for cock: Man or boy's, human or not. ~~Notsooldpervert


Villenia

Feel free to contribute however you like. I find collaborative writing inspiring. No sense stifling anyone's creativity. But I'll try to inch that branch along if that will help you out.

Feel free to go nuts. It's a totally blank slate story-wise. Feel free to add options as well, don't feel restricted to what I've laid down. I envision Kylie as bi although leaning towards girls. She's just fallen into that hormone avalanche making her obsess about sex, but she's still a virgin making her inexperienced and basically lying/faking her confidence.

Been busy lately, but I'm still around. That exact scene I hadn't planned out at all. I know you thought this of Kylie before, but I had pegged Larissa as the one with the proper crush on Riley. Rissa is trying to get Riley to like her, to be interested in her. She's a bit of a smart aleck but equally as bubbly. Getting Riley alone in her room would be an excuse to show off how cool she is and get closer to him, both touchy-feelie and pushy-shovie.

SkankWriter

I want to do something else, but it should have the option of matching up, how would you word it?

You can go ahead and change it, no problem. I guess it just didn't come off to me as how the curse worked, from previous entries, but change what ever you need to. Hopefully, the Ellen/Tiffany bit isn't too bad though

Define touch...is the licking okay if that is all it is? --SkankWriter (talk) 11:12, 15 January 2016 (CET)

Crimsonlion

COMPLETED

  • I really like the work you've done for Hot Summer Job. Could you continue with Bree and give her what she wants? Standing and on the couch are both good, but I'd also like to go up into her room and take her on her bed. Thanks!
https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Hot_Summer_Job/Keep_playing_ignorant,_you_want_to_actually_hear_her_say_it (Hot Summer Job/Take Bree to the couch)

Gisèle de Rais

Alexander's lack of interest in that scene is not so much an important character point as it is an excuse for me to diverge the characters from each other a little bit. I will probably end up doing some of the same scenes with Alexander as I have set up for Alexis in that situation, just at a different stage.

I will say that Alexander/Alexis do not have the same files on their devices. The file that Lacey is listening to at the moment is a different one in Alexander's branch. The explosion is important, though probably not for any reason anybody could have guessed at this point.

Also, Alexander's alone time is a more important point than it seems, and points like it will be found throughout the story on both sides. I don't care if that makes the story more widespread and varied than I have any right to make it when combined with the main plot threads, I have ideas and I'd like to explore them. This will all make more sense to you once I've actually implemented one of those branches.

Feel free to send me your theories, however. You may trick me into revealing more than I plan to. That being said, this story may progress much more slowly than I would prefer due to a lot of real life factors, so I apologize in advance for any lingering suspense that may cause. Gisèle de Rais (talk) 07:28, 5 June 2016 (CEST)

Privitude

In order of preference:

I honestly don't even know what happened with that last change I made. I didn't delete *any* of that stuff. Didn't *touch* it. I adjusted my request, and crazy fuckery ensued. Sorry.

Kitkatevermore

-- Yeah, I completely agree. Knowing that people read your work and anticipate for you to write content that they'll love is one of the best motivators I know. When I write something just for me, I don't see a reason of finishing it before a certain point in time, but when someone else wants me to write something because they love the story and want to see what else I'll do with it, I can't help but want to write more than ever -- Kitkatevermore (talk) 00:30, 25 October 2016 (CEST)

-- I've been meaning to get to that part, but I can't decide what to write first. I can assure you, that there's going to be a lot of pages for the twins, though -- Kitkatevermore (talk) 05:58, 26 October 2016 (CEST)

-- Oh wow, I swear I knew that before but I guess being off the site for so long I ended up forgetting how it worked. Thank you so much for reminding me so I could fix it Kitkatevermore (talk) 02:49, 9 April 2017 (CEST)

ArthurKung

I'm glad you like my writing, Jemini. I'm a fan of your stuff as well, and really appreciate the compliment. If there's any page I've written in which you feel like there could be room for a loli route - feel free to add an option to get to that kind of path.

And yes, by focusing on Fiona's character in my particular story arch, I might end up setting the pace for her personality. You've already included her in the Samantha route, and her personality definitely shines through in your descriptions. I assume you already have a clear idea of how you imagine her to be like; and I'd hate to write her in a way that contradicts those ideas.

I personally want to portray her as someone weird, unpredictable and borderline unlikeable. My idea is that she's this terribly superficial gossip that constantly talks shit about people behind their backs to make herself seem like a more upstanding person - when in fact she's incredibly perverse and sexually messed up. The idea of her imagining Samantha to be a shameless slut is therefore very plausible. --ArthurKung (talk) 02:17, 3 January 2017 (CET)


I can get behind that enchantment; it sounds like it could be pretty fun to write out. However, I personally picture infinite semen and sexual exhaustion as two different things. When I wrote that Jack was feeling "completely drained", I was more referring to his physical/mental energy as opposed to the contents of his ballsack. Re-reading it, I don't think I really managed to convey what I wanted to.

I like your idea of Maria having taken an interest in the Gundersons. I've been toying with similar ideas. After having read up on the curse, I took some creative liberties writing up Fiona's background in my latest post (https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=2T4U/Jack/Afternoon/Fiona%27s/Ask_Fiona_about_herself). My idea is to have Fiona - despite her perverse nature - actually be a virgin; which would at some point attract Maria's immediate attention, since she would also become a key to ending the curse. My idea is that the spirit will contact Jack and try to strike a deal with him at some point; giving him the option of either taking Fiona's virginity to end Maria's spell, or kill Fiona and become the ghost's favored or something. It's just a vague concept so far, and would doubtlessly make for a pretty linear story path (in that it gives the player an option to destroy the curse and create some kind of "Happy Ending"-deal).

By the way, feel free to claim the "Refuse to spend the night at Fiona's"- path if you want to bring Samantha into it all. I'm probably going to continue with the route I've chosen. --ArthurKung (talk) 14:52, 5 January 2017 (CET)


Wrongness

Hey, just wanna thank you for your kind words, and that I'd be happy to take any tips you got any tips for me, that would help me a lot. :) Wrongness (talk) 12:18, 20 April 2017 (CET)

Thank you for your advices. As I take another look at my chapters, I can definitely see how I can improve them. I'll try to follow your tips over my next chapters Wrongness (talk) 15:16, 20 May 2017 (CEST)

Yes, it makes sense. I'll need to learn lots of things, since I chose such a hard scenario for my story ( It's not easy to write a story about kidnapping lol)

From now on I'll try to gather as much information as I can. Wrongness (talk) 14:29, 22 May 2017 (UTC)


Foalpoots

Hey, would you consider taking requests for Invasion! ?

If so: https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=Invasion!/Markovik (James "Jimmy" Haas)

If not, just disregard it

It would be nice to have a little friendly competition though --Foalpoots (talk) 17:18, 14 June 2017 (UTC)


Fixed the requests in WBWP --Foalpoots (talk) 22:38, 24 June 2017 (UTC)


Can you please stop trying to turn my completely gay species straight? i haven't finished with the cultural aspects, so please don't impose your worldview on my creation.--Foalpoots (talk) 22:38, 24 June 2017 (UTC)


Its a goddamn WIP in progress, i just don't have enough energy (or spoons) and attention span to finish it in one setting. all this destructive critisism is really draining even more spoons and makes me sorta want to drop the whole project. so sit back, and don't bother me until i have atleast filled out the profile completely --Foalpoots (talk) 21:39, 25 June 2017 (UTC)


on the note of "hard sci-fi" and "thats just how sci-fi works": sci-fi works however you want it to work! "I have Material abc that has the properties xyz, so i don't need to care about realworld limitation 123" i'm following prior simple statement and it works great. --Foalpoots (talk) 21:44, 25 June 2017 (UTC)

Hey, can you get Elerneron to answer my questions on his page ? Because i can't continue to write for Invasion until these questions are answered --Foalpoots (talk) 23:10, 1 August 2017 (UTC)


NOW you can comment on my species --Foalpoots (talk) 20:45, 8 August 2017 (UTC)

Twinklestar

New here. Looking to add where I can. I am loving the format and such of the place. Not sure if anyone is active on this site though.

Twinklestar


There is still a lot I don't understand but I am hoping to learn as I go. Most pressing is what is I add to story that someone ask not... but hasn't posted in 3 years? Are Meta stories, stories from a different site.. and what is a "port" and how could I help? Does this have a forum?

I would love to collaborate with someone. Adding a branch or two, with an idea from what they intended. I also hope to add my story at some point and have people add too it. see what they come up with as well. so I am adding where I can for now. I will further this when I get some time. but I don't want to lose connect.

Twinklestar

I would love!!!! to work on a story. I am off to work, let me know where to go to start the discussion about what you want to write about theme, topic limits (if any.. lol) I will be watching. and I would like to keep it as "fun" as possible. I did add to some already. It's rough and it needs editing but Please let me know.

Twinklestar

I have to say... It is embarrassing, english is my first language but I have always issues with grammar and word flow. My brain is too fast for my fingers and when i re read it ... My brian fills in the right information. *sigh*

I have been trying to do better but this ... Topic has got me excited. Therefore I will be more cautious. I like to deal with lesbian and male to female gender switch.. And age switch.. As males are usually the bad guys in my stories. (i am really REALLY embarrassed about the word flow) my idea would be to have a story were you start out as a jerky jerk big man on campus guy who abuses woman and uses them. He is transformed into a 9 year old in an already existing life... ( i.e. he doesn't have to walk around proving he is the girl that poofed out of nowhere.) the reader can be evil and destroy that life...or be awesome and live a dream life...??? Good idea??good bones???

Twinklestar

Sigh... I feel like I have stepped into mouse traps.

Twinklestar (talk) 01:19, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

"We" really have all the time in the world. I will continue to hack at the one part of the story i started... And when I get to join the "site" we can work out the story.

I have always envisioned a scene or story were the 10 year old girl is the sexual aggressor and everyone becomes pawns... Secducing mother teachers father and psych all by playing the little girl part.

Like she is sitting at the psychologist office spreading her legs to a woman doctor telling her fantasies of eating her mom out and how that would bring stability in her life... Stuff like that...

In the end...everyone is happy. Its a good thing...because everyine is denying what they REALLY want..expect the girl..she see it all and helps bring it about.

The bad part would be manipulation Like he considers himself like a "master" and preys on people. Drunk rape would be the worst.

Twinklestar (talk) 02:01, 15 July 2017 (UTC)


I will check it out when i can. :)

Twinklestar (talk) 02:43, 15 July 2017 (UTC)


  • stunned silence* I am not worthy sir...

Twinklestar (talk) 03:47, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

As long as you think I have something... Like some talent or some skills.

Twinklestar (talk) 04:06, 15 July 2017 (UTC)


I have a(n) ----- idea about how he got in the situation. "He" died and so did "she"... He got a second chance as her?

Twinklestar (talk) 04:11, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

I added myself to the official site and requested you as a friend "BFF". I also have started a thread in the writers discussion...sub forum. So when i have access (apparently its time based? To make sure we are not spammers and stupid people. ) but i am cool. I have read what you wrote so far all good. !!! Thank you. I will write soon ...

Twinklestar (talk) 14:40, 15 July 2017 (UTC)

Tod Natürlich

Hello, I just read your comment on how you receive almost no feedback for all you write on this site, and realized I'm guilty of that. I must confess I find it hard to give feedback on the format this site has; I don't know where to put the feedback, how to limit the feedback to a storyline when they diverge so much and how to order the ideas in my head to convey them when after reading all the storylines they begin to mix in my mind. I'll probably experiment with leaving some comments on the talk page of some story posts, to see how that feels, but for now I have to assure you that I've read at least all that's posted in "Hot Summer Job" and "Life Hacks".

As I said to you on the other forum, your productivity and quality are daunting, and I'm very thankful that you are willing to share with us your creativity and your hard work. I would like to be able to offer more, but for now all I have is my gratitude, so I will try to express it more often, you certainly deserve it. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 22:35, 14 July 2017 (UTC)


I hope you recover soon, and feel free to use my story as an outlet until you feel better. I hope it's nothing serious. Even if you say it's not up to your usual standards, your writing is still better than average, and we can always edit it further down the road. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 20:54, 25 September 2017 (CEST)


Thanks for the explanation on the hair colors, it really does help me learn and I really appreciate you going out of your way to educate me. Thanks a lot. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 06:37, 2 October 2017 (CEST)


Thanks for your continued interest in the story, I'm really honored you've decided to pay so much attention to it. I'm gonna share with you the only two paths I have planned for the future of the story, since I do want to write those, and after seeing you append some of the rules I was afraid you would snatch them from me, so I ask you that you let me write this:

First is the story of Perl, how she is slowly corrupted by the exposure to sex and begins to seek the thrills that it brings her, how she tries to abuse the system, getting her "fix" of light punishments while being protected from the harsher ones by her status in school until this is discovered and she's forced to forfeit her virginity and womb to either John or her family. And how at the end she finds in her younger brother a lover that she can spend her life with.

The other is the story of Suzy and Ginny, where the younger, Ginny, starts to get in more and more trouble, but instead of being corrected, the punishments appear to drive her further into mischief. Suzy, unlike that, after being punished on the first week, completely straightens her ways and keeps out of trouble. John then decides the only way to "save" Ginny from herself is to displace the punishment to her sister, since it's clear the two are very close, and poor Suzy starts being the subject of punishments whenever her sister does something (pretty much like you wrote in the guidelines). I still don't have the ending for this path in firm, but I do want to write it myself.

Other than that I have no well defined plans for anyone, and in fact I love that you took a path that I have never imagined, since I want to force myself to write in a more dynamic way. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 23:22, 3 October 2017 (CEST)


I'm a fan of hard science fiction (also a scientist, but that is irrelevant here), and what I love more about a good science fiction story is that it limits it's reality breaking to a very few and well contained points, so that as long as the reader accept those, the rest of the story can be completely grounded in reality. (With Isaac Asimov, for example, the only inaccuracy in lots of his stories was the existence of the positron brain).

I try (and probably fail miserably) at imitating that whenever I write fiction. I try to limit the incredible premises as much as possible, so the reader only have to accept a few clearly fake facts, and try to build the rest on reality. In the case of this story, the one big lie is that there could be a town in a civilized country so backwards as to come up with something as ridiculous as a punishing children with sex. I try to make the rest of the characters as real as possible inside that situation. Sure, there are some pedophiles among the population, sure, some children experiment earlier than others, but in general the people in town are not expecting to have sex with children, and the children don't even consider sex in their daily lives.

One of the things I've really liked of the way you have made the story advance is that you also try to reflect the reality of the characters in that world, never going overboard with the sex , and keeping the settings as real as an erotic story of this characteristics would allow. So, once again, thank you for helping in bringing my fantasies to life. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 09:46, 4 October 2017 (CEST)


I haven't read the light novels, but I've watched the anime, which if I remember was only the first light novel. The character of John has changed quite a bit since I first envision him for the story, all the work you've put on him has been a great factor for the changes. He was a much more naive and impulse driven character, with less foresight and his hatred towards town was more on a unconscious level. Still, I've come to really appreciate his new persona, he's much more likeable and it gives him much more room to grow, so I thank you for writing him that way.

I also really like the idea of him having a long term romantic relationship with Dyla. It's been established that even though he really loves his sister and is willing to stay by her side, he's no longer sexually attracted to her. I want that to be a source of conflict in their relationship in the future, and Dyla can play a part there as well.

As for Ginny's initial punishment, go right ahead and give it to her, neither she nor her sister will be back for more this week, so I'll start writing the rest of their story once we move to the next section. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 22:12, 4 October 2017 (CEST)


if you haven't written the part where Ginny is punished, you might consider exchanging Ginny for Debra Lefort, they are classmates, and I don't think we need to make too many changes (if any) to the already written parts. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 23:09, 5 October 2017 (CEST)


I'll be honest that I don't know the details of the manufacturing of big solar arrays, but I trust you if you say it's an industry which would employ mainly males, be still strong enough to provide for the small town, and be in decadence. The only limitation you put there that I don't feel needs to be is the legality of the brothel. While we've established that it exists and everyone knows it exists, that doesn't mean it's a legal whorehouse. It can be disguised as a massage parlor, a men's club, or even a motel. I mean, I've lived in several cities were prostitution is outlawed, and there are whole arrays of whorehouses that promote their services without shame, just putting things like massage or men's club, with big billboards on the freeways with almost-pornographic images.

On the overlord note, you have me intrigued by the novels. I really loved Tolkien as a kid (although my mom shared your opinion about his excessive descriptive nature, she would jump ahead several pages to try and find the action), so I'm curious about reading them. I'll be searching for them online, and hopefully will be able to share my opinion with you in the not-too-distant future (I would also love to be able to read Japanese, since I've always feel it's better to read something in it's original, but well...). --Tod Naturlich (talk) 06:05, 7 October 2017 (CEST)


I'm glad you continue to have interest on the story. I got a bit burned out after finishing the characters, but soon will start posting the start of Perl's acr. I'm happy you have taken such interest in Beatriz and his daughters, since I think you are much better than me at telling that part of the story. There are two things I've noticed you have repeated several times that I want to address. One is that his last name is "Gardner", and you have called him "Gardiner" several times. The other is that Amelie and Eveline are 9, they will be 10 in November (since this is the first week of school, we're on September). I think all the times you've said their 10 is from his perspective, so it can be that he's still unsure of their ages.

Back to what has trapped most of my free time this last few days, I managed to get translations for Volumes 1 through 10 of Overlord. The translation is clearly a fan translation and not a very high quality one, but at least I can get the the story. I just finished the first volume, and I'm really liking all the extra details that didn't made it to the anime, it's really interesting to read all the inner thoughts and details about the details of the world that in the anime get reduced to a simple gesture. I will continue reading, hoping the translation of the next volumes improves in quality.

Thinking about what you said about a character that does things on a whim and wind up having incredible results without intention, I was reminded of Tolkien's tale "Farmer Giles of Ham". It's a very short story in which the main character (a simple farmer) though a lot of very comical events becomes king of a small country. If you haven't read it I thoroughly recommend it. If you want you can read it (without a proper formatting) here: hxxp://ae-lib.org.ua/texts-c/tolkien__farmer_giles_of_ham__en.htm --Tod Naturlich (talk) 23:46, 10 October 2017 (CEST)


I was checking the formatting on some of the story, and I noticed that you almost always write "in-tact", which sounded weird to me, since in Spanish that is a single word. I looked it up, and it appears it's also a single word in English, I found this about it: hxxps://brians.wsu.edu/2016/05/24/in-tact/, I hope this helps you. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 03:45, 29 October 2017 (CET)