This is for feedback on my stories. Please place your discussion relating to my stories below.
2 Taboo 4 You
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Oh, and if/when the Jack shower scene in 2T4U is up I'm thinking about continuing "send Missy away, have Aaron stay". Well, the one where Jack remember's that Melony's old clothes are still in the attic anyway. I have a weakness for traps and sissies.
Also! Tell me if any off my additions seem off in regards to how the characters behave. That's my biggest worry when adding to someone else's story. --BakaG (talk) 07:09, 12 October 2015 (CEST)
Well, here it is: https://stories.allthefallen.ninja/index.php?title=2T4U/Tell_him_why_he_can%27t_pee Hope it reads as well as it sounded in my head. --BakaG (talk) 13:22, 13 October 2015 (CEST)
I just edited Aaron's profile to include his sexual knowledge. I am going to also be doing the same thing with every human character under the age of 12. That is another thing we are going to be needing to keep on the same page about, especially now that there is more than one person who is really editing this thing. --Jemini (talk)
I was also thinking, it might be a good idea to include an equivalent "sexual history" section for characters over age 12, especially with the highschool aged kids. I have already got my specific ideas for Brittany witch have already been talked about, but I was hoping to hear if you had anything specific in that area in mind when you created the character of Jack. I do not have any strong ideas about him myself in that area, so if you don't add something then I think that his sexual history bio may wind up being on hold until something is decided in-story by one of the writers (same for all the other 12+ characters not including Brittany.) --Jemini (talk)
Just gave Jack his sexual background. I had to re-write a few post entries that didn't fit it, but since his character has generally been a little on the jerkish side when me or others have written him and also more on the side of sexually competent and entitled, even with the curse that behavior suggests someone who has been around on the subject, so I made him a little bit of a man-whore. I am currently debating whether or not all this sleeping around should have resulted in him being a teen father though. Of course, if he is, then the maternal grand-parents are raising the child(ren). This would also explain more why Maria would be attracted to this family. Anyway, just sharing my thought process with the other large contributor to the story. I know you have sort of given me the lead, but since you started the story I think you ought to still be involved to at least the extent of being kept up to date about major things like decisions about character back-story. Jemini (talk) 04:38, 24 November 2015 (CET)
All Hell Breaks Loose
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List feedback for the story Chronos below, (above the </div>).
Fairly Oddparents: Timmy's Awakening
List feedback for the story Fairly Oddparents: Timmy's Awakening below, (above the </div>).
I have got to say, I am admiring your Fairly Oddparents story. I don't find it much of a turn-on, but it is perfectly in the style and mood of the source material, and that shows some excellent writing. Just thought I would pay you the compliment. Jemini (talk) 04:24, 6 January 2016 (CET)
I'm not a huge fan of the show, but this looks like a fun tale. (Still want to see updates for TWAWKI and Generations) --Notsooldpervert (talk) 06:19, 6 January 2016 (CET)
Let her go mad, then free her after everyone knows she's preggers. You can tell everyone that she's crazy, molested Timmy, and got herself pregnant. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 00:01, 7 January 2016 (CET)
OMFG, that arena scene! It is exactly like watching an episode of Fairly Odd Parents! This stuff is great! Once again, I do not find this to be much of a turn-on, but that's Ok. Don't change a thing. About the only reason I don't write for this is because I do not feel qualified to keep it to this standard, and the only reason I do not suggest something is because I am enjoying it a lot more just seeing where you go with it. This is grade A fan-fiction here. Jemini (talk) 16:21, 9 January 2016 (CET)
List feedback for the story Generations below, (above the </div>).
Fascinating concept. I look forward to seeing more options available. ~~Notsooldpervert
Hello Elerneron. I recently joined the site, almost for the sole reason of writing on Generations. I followed the initial writing on it, and read up on the lore which you had created. I was quickly smitten, and wanted desperately to contribute to the world, with all it's interesting races and societies. I thought out some ideas for Jaedyn Farmer, and have already begun to write a few pages on him. However, if you already had plans for him - feel free to remove what I have written thus far.
I also know you're not accepting non-canon contributions (which I understand completely! Wanting other writers to contribute to your world is just fine, but it can definitely get messy if everyone is allowed to change the foundations of the lore and environments.), but if you're up for it I would gladly like to discuss some potential expansions on the canon (but they are neither requests nor demands. You've already written a whole bunch, and I am more than thrilled to work with what has been provided!).
But starting with the subject of Realms; so far you have written the ranks and titles for Western Rulership - which I assume is based off on medieval European feudal systems. Based on the title, I assume you've also had plans for Eastern or even Mid-Eastern Rulership? Sort of like a Sultanate/Caliphate or an oriental Empire? If you have, I would love to hear any such ideas!
Second, is the human level of technology based off on any particular time period in the world (14th century, 12th century etc.)?
Lastly, would you consider adding harpies to the creature races? Because harpies are hot. I love me some harpies.
And also, thank you for having left the story open to other writer's contributions! --ArthurKung (talk) 03:16, 26 March 2016 (CET)
Thank you for answering my questions, Elerneron. And I also want to thank you for expanding the realms sections and adding a map; it will be of great help when planning the stories to come! I look forward to writing and having Jaedyn explore the world and all its inhabitants. --ArthurKung (talk) 10:29, 30 March 2016 (EDT)
List feedback for the story Invasion! below, (above the </div>).
First of all, thanks for your help with the categories. I was reviewing the description for the alien races and tried to see how their home planets would be like, and I have to argue against the extreme surface gravities that some of the alien's planets have. The Varselavesh are fine, their gravity and pressure fits into a gas giant. I also have no issue with the Winterkin. But the Grelis, and specially the Markovik have way too much surface gravity and way too little atmosphere. In the biggest terrestrial planet we can conceive (10 times the mass of the earth, twice its radius), the surface gravity would only be 2.5 G, and such planet would already have a much bigger atmosphere than earth, even being closer to a star and subject to solar tides. I can't imagine how a planet could have a surface gravity of 5.51 G, and an atmosphere of only 0.216 atm. I don't think such planet can exist. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 08:59, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
Actually, surface gravity (which is what I think we're talking about) is directly proportional to the mass, but also inversely proportional to the square of the radius of the planet. Indeed the theoretical limit for terrestrial planets is about 10 times the mass of the earth, but that requires an increase in the radius, again the accepted ratio is that a planet 10 times as massive as the earth would have twice the radius, if you do the calculations for it's surface gravity, you'll find that it's only about 2.5 times greater than earth's surface gravity. I mean, even Jupiter, a gas giant only has a surface gravity 2.52 times greater than earth, since it's radius is so much bigger than earth's. In order for a celestial body to have a higher surface gravity, it's inner density would have to be much higher, which it's not possible under our current understanding of atomic forces.
Also, with respect to a gas giant losing it's atmosphere, you would end up with a pretty standard terrestrial planet in both size and mass, for example, it's hypothesised that Jupiter's solid core is only 5% of it's mass, which would put it well within the limit of terrestrial planets. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 19:46, 24 June 2017 (UTC)
I've been searching a lot about this, since I haven't had to make gravity calculations for bodies since college, and never for fantasy planets. So far the only place I've found planets with a surface gravity greater than 30 m/s² is in soft science fiction. All the science documents I've found limit the surface gravity of "planets" to around 28 m/s², regardless of them being terrestrial or gas giants. I also found a very interesting document about extraterrestrial zoology (hxxps://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/vida_alien/xenology/papers_xeno/et_zoology.htm), that states: "terrestrial rocky worlds with atmospheres suitable for life should have surface gravities between about 0.2 and 2.0 Earth-gees." The rest of the article is also very interesting and might help inspire other species, so I'm proposing you make an exception to external links so other prospective authors might also read it.--Tod Naturlich (talk) 04:40, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
All this stuff with that shape-shifting race that was being talked about made me think about the Kitsune from Japanese folk lore, so I decided to make it as a race and blend it in with the "Lizard People" conspiracy theory. Basically, it is a shape-shifting race that was already on earth and already in high positions of power before the Invasion ever even began. They landed on earth as colonists before the planet had any sentient life, and then blended in with human society due to their shape-shifting powers as human society developed. Basically, they are starting off in what all the other races would consider the "victory position." However, since they have no actual contact off planet and their technology is only as advanced as the cutting edge of human technology, the most they can do with this power position is defend it. Technically, they are the "defenders of earth" against the invasion, thus they are technically the "good guys" although no human would really consider them as such considering they are controlling earth politics from the shadows. Jemini (talk) 18:59, 26 June 2017 (UTC)
Are you sure jeminis Yokai race is conform to the rules ?--Foalpoots (talk) 23:49, 13 July 2017 (UTC)
Would you call cloning if done on earth a legitimate form of birth ? --Foalpoots (talk) 22:59, 23 July 2017 (UTC)
would it be against the rules if the Chromarans in the guise of human government officials subjected the female population to slavery and holocaust ? --Foalpoots (talk) 03:29, 8 August 2017 (UTC)
so slavery right away, but the genocide will have to wait. or does it count as the humans doing it if the chromarans responsible used to be humans ? --Foalpoots (talk) 03:10, 9 August 2017 (UTC)
So, profile is finaly finished, how do i actually start the storyline in my branch? i already have the first sex scene layed put but i don't know how to get my characters there. --Foalpoots (talk) 06:36, 14 August 2017 (CEST)
The Last Boy on Earth
List feedback for the story The Last Boy on Earth below, (above the </div>).
Hey, how would sex work in the story? How detailed do you want it? How old is the main character? Can he strip nude first? What's his privates like? Sorry... just so many questions.--BinaryHedgehog (talk) 02:53, 28 February 2016 (CET)
Okay then, I'll let you handle it for now, I'll get on board soon, though.--BinaryHedgehog (talk) 03:54, 28 February 2016 (CET)
Okay, maybe the mother's okay with it and the father isn't? Also, and this is important since it's something you establishd, but what happens to arousal after orgasm?--BinaryHedgehog (talk) 04:14, 28 February 2016 (CET)
List feedback for the story Life Hacks below, (above the </div>).
Is there a real Alexander in the real world?--No-one (talk) 19:38, 2 January 2017 (CET
Got another picture for you to modify to your format specifications so it can be used in the character profiles. It's a gender-swap picture for Bastian.
Jemini (talk) 08:13, 27 March 2018 (CEST)
Actually I already modify it to work. I crop it to the required size and changed it to PNG before uploading. The only thing I didn't do was to remove the background, but it should work as I uploaded it. --Tod Naturlich (talk) 08:19, 27 March 2018 (CEST)
Oh, Ok. Yeah, just confirmed that, it works. Sorry to bother you Elerneron, looks like Tod's on top of this. Jemini (talk) 09:10, 27 March 2018 (CEST)
Yeah, It's been a busy week. I'm glad Tod could help out. I'll see about getting a replacement with the background removed; but I can't say that I will for sure, or when I will have the time to do so if I do. I have the week off, but I still haven't had a moment to myself. --Elerneron (talk) 13:43, 29 March 2018 (CEST)
Don't stress about it, you can consider this low priority. It's perfectly functional as is. In fact, I wasn't even thinking of asking you to remove the background, although now that it's offered I guess that it would make sense to have it fit in with the overall aesthetic of the rest of the story. Again though, low priority. Just do it whenever it's something that won't cause you undue stress. Jemini (talk) 19:03, 29 March 2018 (CEST)
Didn't really know how to go about contacting Elerneron, but I just wanted to say what an amazing piece of work you've made. I wish I could financially compensate you to work on this more, there just aren't enough large stories that have such great content. Anyway, keep up the great work! --Playb0y (talk) 23:48, 29 October 2018 (CEST)
Hey Elerneron, is there a way to have the Life Hacks UI collapsible, yet span the whole page? I originally wanted only the "active Perks" section to collapse, but then it evolved into the entire UI element being auto hidden for mobile users -- MrPib (talk) 22:07, 14 February 2019 (CET)
The Mark of Fate
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List feedback for the story Romp below, (above the </div>).
List feedback for the story Universe Remote below, (above the </div>).
List feedback for the story Villainy below, (above the </div>).
You're as bad as me playing an rpg. 500 hours of game time and a dozen different chatacters, and i still haven't completed the main plot of Skyrim. I just love making new characters like you seem to love starting new stories. --Notsooldpervert (talk) 20:47, 19 December 2017 (CET)
The World as We Know It
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Same with this one. Love the concept, and anxious for more story. I'd love to see one (or both) of the stripper moms start going naked at home and letting her kids use her for a fuck toy lol ~~Notsooldpervert
List feedback for the story Yes below, (above the </div>).
I have created profiles for the twins, the mother, the uncle and the two best friends. If you are still happy for me to go ahead with writing a different character(s) I think I'm good to go. I have uploaded the pictures of each of them (I have noted in one its flagged to be deleted); can you double check there's no issues there? Otherwise I'll get the profiles uploaded soon, with some story about the antics of the Morse twins :|P --Jackmaster (talk) 16:16, 23 January 2017 (CET)
Awesome. I can try and get the character sheets up tomorrow! Feel free to contribute, edit or write anything for the twins as well :)
Which picture did you think was a little small? I will see what the character sheets look like when I copy them over; I just copied the coding for the ones you made, and then edited the information on them. If anything doesn't work out as expected I'm sure I'll come calling soon! :P --Jackmaster (talk) 00:03, 24 January 2017 (CET) 'Edit:' Mariel's picture and Marcel's picture are both likeness drawings of characters from a game (as I mentioned in the description. I know Marciel is created by the game's illustrator, and I have included the link to their page, copyright etc. I can't find the other picture again to check for any copyright. Will they be ok, or will we need to find oath images for them?
Yeah I think stick to third person! As much as I love second person as a tool, trying to write in second person for two constantly interchanging characters, although fun, would me too much chaos! First part if just about to go up (or may already be up by the time you read this :P). I'm thinking the second part can introduce the idea of swapping the ring between them. Hopefully there will be readers who want to contribute to the choices; it makes it so much easier when writing interactive stories, as I have no idea which of the three to go for! --Jackmaster (talk) 16:35, 24 January 2017 (CET)