A Shitty Parent

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Note: I got tired of my old story “A Single Parent” so here’s me starting over with a similar concept. Let’s hope I don’t get bored again.


Well uh… you’re a pretty shitty parent, but who can really blame you? Your situation is far less than ideal, your “wife” left you, and to top it all off, you have five kids. It’s almost like the fates decided to experiment with how shitty a person’s life could get.

It’s been six years since your wife left you. Technically you were never married, but ten years living together with children had to count as common law somewhere. To be honest, she was kind of a bitch, but you weren’t going to leave the woman alone with all those kids. How you ended up with all those children is a completely different story.

Amber, Toby, Hannah, Olivia, and Oliver— Amber was 15, only a few years younger than you were when she was born. You and your “wife” Theresa weren’t really dating back then but you ended up making it official when you found out she was pregnant. She wasn’t one for abortion, so she kept the baby to term, giving birth to your first daughter Amber. You would have thought that she would have just gone on the pill after that to prevent any more accidents but noo, Theresa was just a fucking idiot. Only after the twins Oliver and Olivia were born was when she decided she was done with kids and started birth control. God, you were kinda glad Theresa was mostly out of your life, but there was still bitterness inside you since she just up and left one day.


Your kids:

Amber - 15, blonde, brown eyes, rebellious

Toby - 14, brunette, green eyes, nerdy

Hannah - 13, brunette, blue eyes, awkward

Olivia - 11, blonde, green eyes, clever

Oliver - 11, blonde, green eyes, hyperactive